It’s interesting – people ask me for advice a lot.   Pregnant women ask me about how to induce labor.  Yoga students ask me about how often to practice in the studio versus at home.   Friends ask me about the strange click that’s started happening in their knee. 

 

Sometimes I think of my teacher Don Stapleton, whom I often observed was really good at listening to someone but not telling them *what to do.*   In all of the above scenarios, I could easily just tick off a matter of fact answer – “Do this” or “Practice that”.   And I admit, sometimes that’s my answer.  But I don’t want to *be* that person, that know it all, who can’t just listen and really hear the person.   In all those scenarios, I could also ask them a question back, and that could really spark an interesting conversation where I am not the “expert” dispensing advice.  If we can have a dialogue as peers, maybe we’ll both learn something along the way. 

 

On the other hand, sometimes you have something to say!  Recently, I’ve had some of the above experiences, where I’ve noticed myself trying to listen and not dictate back.   And the flip side of the coin, is that sometimes in recent weeks I’ve really needed to stand up for myself and tell someone something that is important but difficult – “You didn’t treat me well in this situation.”   “I need this from you.”  “I’m sorry, I can’t do that – I’m too busy”.  

 

It’s a funny balancing act – being aware enough to not speak where you don’t need to, and to speak when you do.   To speak softly in certain situations, and to be willing to roar if needed in others.   

 

So what are the postures I use when I want to be clear in myself, and say what I need to say, but not say too much?   First and foremost, backbends help me tremendously in opening the Throat Chakra (Ajna Chakra).   I find that so key in making my way through emotions so that I can get to the other side and speak my mind in a clear voice.   One of the most helpful is actually a relatively simple backbend, Fish Pose (Matsyasana).  I also like the corresponding Bridge Pose (Setu Bhanda)  to help keep me grounded.   These are great preparations for deeper backbends, which I often want to practice for the amazing sense of strength they impart to me.   In general, practicing yoga has helped me build fortitude, and a sense of when it’s time to speak and when it’s not.

 

Also this Yoga Journal article is great, and gives a hint at Lion’s Pose (Simhasana), which is wonderful if you’re someone who needs to speak your truth more.  

 

Finally, my partner has been encouraging me to read Difficult Conversations for awhile (not because he thinks I need it!  Just because it’s been so helpful for him).  I’ll be on a plane for awhile this weekend, so I’m going to try to read it.  I’ll let you know how it goes, and what, if anything, I find yogic about it. 

 

Namaste, and look forward to listening to you speak your truth!

 

Barrett