Last week I was teaching at the Omega Institute, my first yoga home. I first came to Omega 11 years ago to work and learn, and became a yoga teacher there the next year. I had a great experience going back and teaching, and met a lot of enthusiastic students. Even though I was well-received overall, I still sometimes struggled to connect with everyone. I’ve had a few humbling experiences that week that taught me that I still have a lot to learn.
First, in one of my beginner classes, an older woman came in – probably 80 years old – walking very slowly. Her daughter was with her, and I said hello to them both. I was teaching a mix of really gentle, restorative postures along with some invigorating postures, which is usually a good “beginner” experience. I was definitely trying to teach to the majority of the class, and at Omega, the majority of people are very fit (and often quite young). However, there are, on average, about 60 people in yoga classes this week, so there’s a lot to look at.
I was watching the woman, and she did well at first, but then struggled as we got to the standing postures and the more vigorous asanas. I went over to help her and she told me she’d had a stroke recently and wasn’t feeling well. I suggested she sit and relax, which she tried, but she felt sick and had to leave the class. She came back at the end and we were able to set her up in a relaxing position for the rest of class. The humbling experience was that I wished I had paid attention to my impulse and gone over to talk with her before class. I don’t usually do that, especially in a huge class of strangers. However, in this case, as she was pretty clearly not physically as strong as the majority of the class, I think I could have created a better experience for her if I’d reached out. The happy ending is that I’ve talked with her a lot since that class, and we became fast friends!
My other humbling experience was with a walk-out. This happens to everyone – occasionally someone leaves in the middle of class, particularly in this kind of situation where you’re guest teaching. Often you’re not sure why someone leaves – sometimes someone will tell you they’re not feeling well, or they have to leave a little early. I have a lot of the staff here at Omega coming to my classes, and sometimes they’ll need to leave to get back to work. One man came (a staff member) to my intermediate class yesterday. He was doing very well, but it was a tough class and he wasn’t the most experienced. We’d finished the most challenging postures and we were starting to come closer to the ground and wind down when he started packing up to leave. I could sense he wasn’t happy. I didn’t know if he wanted more strenuous work, or less. I didn’t know if I’d said something that set him off. I tried to go check with him, but he really didn’t want to talk.
It’s hard not to take something like that personally. The fact is, though, you just don’t know what’s going on. There could be something you could do better, but you don’t get the feedback. It might not have anything to do with you. It’s an interesting place I found myself – for a few minutes after he left, I was a bit on auto-pilot teaching. Inside I was mulling over what had just happened, and what the possible reasons could be. It was hard to draw myself away from the pondering and get back to the rest of the students who seemed to be enjoying the practice. Practicing getting present to whatever comes up is a never-ending job! I’m better at it now than I was 10 years ago as a new teacher, but it’s still a struggle.
Namaste,
Barrett
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